Netflix has been pumping out original films in an attempt to make up for the removal of Disney productions, following the creation of the new streaming service Disney Plus. With the rapid release of these original titles, it’s obvious that the quality of these movies could be described as subpar. This brings us to their most recent release: “Tall Girl.”
Where to even start on the hot mess that was this movie? The plot follows the life of 6 foot 1 inch tall Jodi Kreyman and her horrible, tortured existence as a tall girl. First of all, 6 foot 1 inch is not even that tall. The movie completely disregards the fact that a lot of other girls are that height or taller, and many more boys are as well. They cast her as the only person above 6 feet tall, which is ridiculously unrealistic. The rest of the cast is 5 foot 9 inches at the tallest.
Because of her above average height, no self respecting male student will go out with her, and her daily trips around the school reverberate with “How’s the weather up there?” jokes. This is yet another unrealistic element. We have been in the public school system for, on average between the three of us, 12 years, and we have never once seen a tall person being bullied for their height. On the contrary, we have seen a ton of short people bullied for their height. Where’s the movie for short girls?
It doesn’t help that Jodi’s sister is a beauty pageant golden girl, her mother is a former prom queen and her father is a bumbling idiot, whose best attempt to make her feel more normal about her height is to invite a ‘tall club’ called the Tip Toppers to have a party at her house. As you can see, Jodi is just so oppressed.
Jodi’s life flips upside down when handsome Swedish exchange student Stig (pronounced Steeg) comes into the picture. Since Stig is winning the attention of all the girls in school, Jodi decides that she’ll do whatever it takes to get his attention, even completely change herself.
Although the movie’s goal is to show the Jodi has no friends, she actually has two very close friends: Jack and Fareeda, who succeed in making her school life slightly more tolerable. Even so, Jodi manages to push these two away time after time, while dealing with her ‘emotional struggles.’ These times include, but are not limited to, having a date night with and kissing Stig while he was in a relationship, guilting Jack into coming back to her when he finally started to move on from his long time crush on her and leading another boy named Schnipper on while she was trying to get over her crush on Stig, who was very much still in a relationship.
The faults in this movie don’t just stop at ridiculous plotlines, however. Let’s not forget the characters and their personalities. Our main character Jodi is a perfect example. While it can be hard to accept things that you don’t like about yourself, Jodi takes her insecurity about her height and blows it tenfold out of proportion. She refuses to defend herself against those that tease her, and brushes away any help that her friends offer her, but then decides to wallow in self pity because ‘no one understands her.’ After rudely continuing to blow off Jack’s advances because he ‘doesn’t fulfill her potential boyfriend checklist,’(i.e. he isn’t taller than her) she conveniently has a change of heart when Stig won’t drop his girlfriend for her. After she can’t have her dream boyfriend, she goes back to Jack, expecting him to forget her mistreatment of him and take her with open arms, which he does. As Hermione Granger would say, what an idiot. Say it with us: Jack deserved better.
From over-the-top plotlines to the shallow, borderline emotionally abusive characters with little to no appeal, Netflix’s “Tall Girl” leaves its audience wondering why it was necessary to create it. Here’s hoping that Netflix’s next installment to its original movie list will be worth watching.
Rate: 2/10, and both of those two points go to our man Jack Dunkleman.
By: Marissa Detwiler and Ashley Rich, Feature Writers; and Elise Trexler, Web Editor-in-Chief