It’s elementary, dear. “Holmes and Watson” is a waste of your hard-earned cash, and I won’t be surprised when it graces the $5 movie bin in my local Walmart. The only thing that kept me in my seat was my morally upright belief that moving to a different theater was wrong. And boy was I wrong about that belief.

Normally, the classic and hilarious coupling of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly would be enough to draw any poor unfortunate soul to the theater. Their previous projects, including “Stepbrothers,” “Talladega Nights” and “Anchorman 2,” all gained over $120 million at the box office, and most people considered their comedy productions worth watching. However, after 10 minutes of watching the pair in their latest ‘comedy,’ “Holmes and Watson,” I knew I’d walked into an unforgiving, lackluster production that had just robbed me blind of my precious $11.

The plot of the movie revolved around Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson, portrayed by Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly respectively. The legendary duo teamed up again to solve another crime that seemed to be committed by the evil Moriarty. Through their trials and tribulations they encountered a dead man in a cake, the Queen of England and some deliberately awful American women.

It seems obvious to me that the movie producers were betting on the promise of the witty repertoire between Ferrell and Reilly to save their skins. It’s too bad every gag, joke and repertoire came off as hackneyed, cringy and downright painful.

Toward the end of the movie when I was waiting for the sweet release of death, the movie took a turn for the worse (which I didn’t even know was possible) when Ferrell and Reilly started singing a song about love composed by Alan Menken, the legend who also composed all of our Disney favorites.

The director, Etan Cohen, told Menken and the lyricist, Glen Slater, “We don’t want you guys to be funny, we want you to write a full-throated love song. Just go for the over-the-top emotionality; the actors will make it funny.”

Stating that they missed their mark would be an understatement. The actors, indeed, did not ‘make it funny’ leaving the audience to question why the producers felt the need to hurt them so deeply. And it was at this point in the movie that, if you listened closely, you could hear patrons slowly un-recline their theater seats, gather their belongings and leave the premises feeling betrayed and ashamed.

I was initially drawn to the movie due to its comedic twist on the classic detective duo. Also, how could a movie with Ferrell and Reilly be bad, right? But it’s clear that “Holmes and Watson” has unsuccessfully put a hat on a hat by combining a parody of Sherlock Holmes (funny) and Will Ferrell with John C. Reilly (funny) to create “Holmes and Watson” (doesn’t deserve to be called a comedy).

If you don’t believe me and my comedic senses, take it from online critics. The first day on screens, “Holmes and Watson” stood at an even 0 percent on Rotten Tomatoes for almost the entire day. And, as of Jan. 8, two weeks after its debut, it still hasn’t broken double digits and sits at a mere 8 percent. Eventually, some kind and forgiving souls will give the movie some positive views, allowing it to break away from its shameful rating. Until then, “Holmes and Watson” will have to go down in history as one of the worst movies of 2018.

Spoiler, the assistant did it. I just saved you 11 dollars and your pride (as well as your faith in Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly).

Rating: -2/5

By: Katie King, Copy Editor

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